Chapter 1: The Meet-Cute

Setting: Wayfair’s "Clearance" section. Time: 1:47AM.
You swore you’d just browse. But then IT appeared! That "industrial chic" lamp shaped like a plumbing accident…The promise of "This’ll tie the room together!" The lie: "I can return it if it’s ugly."

Chapter 2: The Honeymoon Phase

It arrives and you stage it perfectly on Instagram with filters applied. Then you defend it to your skeptical friends saying “It’s a statement piece!” And you completely ignore the $200 hole in your budget because it was really just self care.

Chapter 3: The Slow Realization

But three weeks later it doesn’t fit (anywhere), the adjustable arm falls off anytime you breathe wrong, and your cat uses it as a personal back scratcher.

Chapter 4: The Breakup

So you shove it deep in the closet swearing you will sell it on Marketplace… eventually. You try to DIY salvage it by spray paint but it’s a regret multiplier! Then you finally admit to you and your tribe that this was a decorative cry for help!

Epilogue: Growth

Regret-to-Redemption phase! You donated it because someone’s grandma WILL love it, you also turned it into a meme with #RegretLamp and you embrace the lesson: Next time, buy the $5 thrift store lamp and hate it responsibly.

Need Intervention?
DM me a pic of your biggest decor regret—I’ll Photoshop it into something marginally better.

(P.S. My "abstract" vase is just a repurposed pasta jar. We’ve all been there.)